12 Steps for the Auto Parts Hoarder

"My name is Tim, and I'm an Auto Parts Hoarder."

Chorus of Car Guys: "Hi, Tim."

I have been trying to clean the garage so that it will actually accommodate a car. Right now in this commodious two-car garage with loads of shelves and a couple of work benches, there is about one stall worth of furniture, the other is full of car parts stripped from about a half-dozen miscellaneous derelicts.

Shelves full of SAAB parts
Photo by Tim Winker.

Actually, the parts are probably from several dozen cars, because there are parts there that were acquired from other hoarders. And it's not just the garage… there are parts and parts cars and project cars in the barn and in the lean-to garage attached to the back of the main garage.

Once upon a time, I had a grand plan of restoring several vehicles. While some of those worth-saving machines have gone on to people with more ambition than I, there are still a few project cars hidden away on the property. I have recently come to the conclusion that at least two more of those projects must go up for sale as I will probably never even get around to starting on them.

How did I ever get this way? I believe that there may have been some genetics or something in my upbringing that makes me think, "I might be able to use that someday." My mother and two sisters are all buyers and sellers of antiquities. One sister in particular tends to buy far more than she sells, so her house is overrun with inventory. When she was a youngster she was always saving things "for my collection." We thought it was cute at the time.

Back to my dilemma; I have way too many car parts. I have been trying to sort through them, putting some into plastic bags to protect from Minnesota's ubiquitous rust, and placing similar pieces such as cooling system parts (water pumps, hoses, thermostats) into large plastic bins. Just today I set out on a quest to find some tiny light bulbs that illuminate the dashboard, but I haven't located that box yet.

Several empty tool boxes, including one tool chest with drawers, have made their way to the discard pile. When I have upgraded to new storage for tools, I did not get rid of the old storage. I probably don't really need four #2 Phillips screwdrivers. There are even more when you consider there are three screwdrivers in the tool chest that have interchanging tips. And why, oh why, do I have two complete sets of metric and SAE combination wrenches?

There are over 100 wheels. Most will fit cars that I still own, but how many wheels does a guy need for one car? There's a radiator surround for a 1934 Hupmobile. Picked that up real cheap at a flea market, but never really had a use for it. On that shelf is a Sanyo AM/FM cassette stereo and a Blaupunkt AM/FM radio… big market for both of those. Probably can't even give them away on eBay. The Clarion 8-track player went to my brother for his birthday.

Among the larger items blocking my way are an engine and transmission and the entire rear axle assembly for a Datsun 240Z, a car I have never owned and probably never will own. But my brother has one and I figured he would take them off my hands. I figured wrong.

I somehow doubt that I will need six transmission housings for a 1960s era two-stroke SAAB, but you never know. I could probably cut down on the number of carburetor sets and aluminum heads for the same vehicle. There must be ten flywheels to fit that car. The SAAB in question has sat untouched for 14 years. Come to think of it, the previous two owners of that car didn't do much to it either, so it has been untouched since 1977!

Much of my car repair time lately has been spent, not on restoration of classics, but on my two daily drivers. One of those was pressed into service when my spouse equivalent needed something to drive after her truck blew a head gasket. It's a car I bought last September in Colorado for only a few hundred dollars. It has mechanical issues, but no rust! It was meant to be a summer project as it needs a transmission, a head gasket and a bunch of minor work, but it is driveable, so it was put on the insurance policy and licensed. I have been picking away at the minor problems, and one day soon will have to pull the drivetrain for the major repairs. (The S.E.'s ailing truck has not moved since the initial diagnosis.)

The other, older car, runs great, though the clutch hydraulics have always been sort of odd. At 285,000 miles, it purrs along, but I keep hearing little noises that I should attend to one of these days. Nothing serious mind you, just things a car guy would notice.

I plan to sell the latter (older) car as soon as the former (newer project) is working properly. Or maybe I'll keep it as a Winter Beater and park the project car to keep rust at bay.

On the plus side, I have been able to keep that older car with the funky clutch running for the past two-and-a-half years and 50,000 miles with parts from my stash. Out of pocket expense for parts has been less than $100, not including regular maintenance items like oil filters and wiper blades.

New car dealers and auto parts stores hate guys like me.